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IS LOVE ENOUGH

It is my belief, after research, observing individuals, experiences, and other studies, that when couples marry it should be for more than JUST love.  Love is seasonal and much depends on emotions and the atmosphere, when love is one’s only or main reason for marrying, matters may be more irresolute.  Marriage should have direction, plan, purpose; “where do you want the marriage to go” (Hawkins, 1991).  Some marry for financial stability, however, a great number more are waiting to marry as a symbol of their financial status within society to show others how successful they have become, as if marry is a stamp of approval of success to society (education, financial stability, home – now if I had a spouse society will say I have it all) (Cherlin, 2013).   Some individual marry because that feel or think at the time that they can’t live without the other person, but what remains after reality sets in, (intertwining two as one and learning how to live together, bills, in-laws); one should learn how to deal with conflict, to compromise, expose unspoken expectations, and become totally committed to each other prior to marry.   Commitment, issue-resolving, dedication to the spouse, and purpose MUST be seriously considered, discussed, and agreed upon, surprises and disappointments are poor ingredients to begin a lifetime together with.  Love alone is insufficient, couples must consider the facts concerning their ability to “fit” together as a team, partner, soldiers together/comrades, and intimate companion, when God took Eve to Adam He did not ask Adam if he loved her before uniting the two.  God did say, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him (Genesis 2:18, KJV).”  Being suitable for him and for each other takes having an agreed upon path/direction, goals, accomplishments, being or having what the other needs (internally, externally, and characteristic wise), two are better than one for labor and wealth, mentally, physically, protection, abilities, and a helping hand (Ecclesiastes 4:4-12, KJV).  Suitable help requires more than love, which is an emotion, changeable, and is affected by past and present circumstances and will not meet the unspoken expectations, love will not make a person a good parent, or a good provider; suitable to encourage, persuade, or to cooperate as an effective force with a person/mate.
                                                                                                             Carolyn Lewis
 (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, KJV; Cherlin, 2013).  
Cherlin, A. J. (2013, April 27). In the season of marriage, a Question. Why bother? Retrieved April 4, 2017, from The New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/28/opinion/sunday/why-do-people-still-bother-to-marry.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0
Hawkins, R. (1991). Strengthening: Marital Intimacy. Kearney, NE: Morris Publishing.

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